How to achieve a sense of satisfaction?

Life is one big process, the purpose of which is (probably) to gain certain knowledge, experiences and understanding of the order and nature of things. This big process - life - contains smaller and even very small processes and sub-processes, which in turn are subordinated to even smaller and more subtle processes. Each process moves according to a set cycle. Each process has definite steps. How satisfied, happy and fulfilled we feel at the end of each process depends on how successfully and how sequentially we have completed each of the steps. 

This is roughly the idea of Paul Boyesen, the Norwegian psychotherapist and founder of psychoorganic analysis. Working with people for years, he observed that any successful process in anyone's life follows the same script. He recorded the steps of these scripts and, based on what he discovered, developed a wonderful method - the Psycho-Organic Circle (POA). It is a diagnostic tool classically used by psychotherapists of the psychoorganic analysis movement. A little insight into the method in this article.

I'll take the salt

If everything in this life was "the way it should be", we would follow the 10-step programme below for each process. We would follow them in the order in which they are written - without exception, in sequence, because they are all equally important. At each step we would "pause" a little to get the energy to move on to the next step. We would go full circle - all the way to the end, and at the end of each process we would feel a sense of satisfaction and well-being for having done so well. And in each successive process, we would "step up" with new strength to fulfil the new need. 

1. A need - to be aware of it, to define it or simply to have it. 
2. Resource - capacity, time, finances, abilities, skills, knowledge, inner conviction and any other resources needed to fulfil a need.
3. Play - fantasising and imagining "what if" - what if the need could be fulfilled.
4. Counterforce - the need to face internal or external resistance during fulfilment, such as one's own inner doubts or another person's objections.
5. Capacity - playing with a specific goal, a creative process in which we strategically build what will be, plan what will be, and forecast what will be when the need is fulfilled. We create expectations.
6. A concept, hesitation - making a decision that involves a sense of dilemma as to whether it is really necessary to fulfil this need.
7. Expression - expressing a process outwards - to others, to the world.
8. Feelings - feeling accomplished, sharing feelings with others.
9. Satisfaction, organgia - a feeling of accomplishment that is experienced alone.
10. Emptiness - the feeling that something has ended and the new has not yet begun.

Life goes in circles

Walking the circle never ends - not in our personal lives, not at work, not in our relationships with friends, relatives, families, not in life in general. Such cycles are happening all the time in all of us - parallel to each other, encompassing each other. Like a matrix. It is purely intuitive to "apply" this sequence of steps to ourselves, as if we "recognise" them internally - yes, it is good, it seems "somehow right". Most of the time it doesn't seem new to us. On the contrary, it seems to be something very close and familiar. Why? Because these steps are not invented - they are simply discovered and recorded, as something that simply exists, is present in every process in everyone's life, both personal and professional. 

It is only natural that we tend to go around this way - we tend to have a sense of satisfaction. The problem is that it is relatively rare to achieve it. Why is that? Because most of the time, at some point in the circle, we run into difficulties. And failing to meet a point leads to a feeling of satisfaction that never "arrives".

Recognising your stumbling blocks

By looking a little deeper into each of the steps of the circle, it is possible to identify which of them we are "sinning" with. In each of the steps it is possible to:

• getting stuck or stuck in a process for a long time. For example, getting stuck in a game is characteristic of people who fantasise and imagine for a long time but never get to action.
• skip it, because the feelings we experience on a lap may not be entirely comfortable. For example, at the moment of making a decision, we feel a dilemma - to do or not to do (point 6) - or the difficulty of telling someone about our creative idea because of the fear of rejection and backlash (point 4).
• a section may simply be unclear to us - empty. For example, being unclear about our needs (first point) or lacking the resources to fulfil them (second point).

To "get used to" the feeling of satisfaction

An interesting fact about the feeling of contentment (and feelings in general) is that they cannot be artificially induced. It simply does or does not arise. But a persistent or prolonged lack of it usually signals to us that something is "not quite right" in our lives.

If a life process has ended without a sense of satisfaction (or just doesn't end, or stops because of various obstacles), it is worth reviewing what is missing and trying to "fill it in". 

Assess the nature of the obstacles encountered. Are unclear or misunderstood needs to blame? Is there a lack of resources? Have we not taken the time to let our imagination fly? Are we unable to withstand internal or external resistance? Difficulties with planning processes and exhibiting concrete concepts? Are we unable to make decisions? Or perhaps when we express what we want, we receive resistance from our peers? Or maybe we don't allow ourselves to feel how we feel about this or that process?

Once the "culprit" has been identified, it is worth looking at the situation as a whole. Difficulties in getting past a stage usually signal that an earlier stage in the process has not been fully executed. For example, difficulty getting past the fourth point or counterforce (e.g. the other person's objection to fulfilling a need) indicates that the first, second or third point has not been fulfilled - a need that is unclear, a lack of resources or an inadequate 'play' with ideas.

By "diagnosing" yourself in this way, it is easier to identify "stumbling blocks" and to address them - by being more diligent about the missing links.

Give it a try! By being aware of your inner processes and following these steps, it is possible to feel content more often - tested on your own skin. 

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