Why is it better to choose a face-to-face space for spirituality activities rather than a virtual space?

We live in an age where all kinds of activities in virtual space are commonplace. The ability to communicate, meet and process remotely undeniably brings many advantages. At the same time, it is clear that social networks are one of the most widespread and socially acceptable addictions of our time.

Of course, the virtual environment is just a machine - a technology. As with any technology, its positive or negative impact depends on the application. And the application is determined by us - each with our own intentions, choices and actions.

Interestingly, in recent years, something that is often used to cure addictions - spirituality - has been sold on these addictive platforms, often in an addictive form. A contradiction in terms, isn't it?

Yes, I too appreciate the opportunity to be in touch with the world remotely; I also use social networks and am grateful for the opportunities they provide. However, in this "Instagram In my "paper" I would like to draw attention to an important aspect that highlights the downside of social networks and the virtual space that they provide in relation to the dimension of spirituality.

Why is spirituality an area where face-to-face contact is critical? Why is the scrolling format not really suitable for exploring spirituality? Why is it better to choose a face-to-face group than to take an online course that teaches spiritual values remotely? All this in this article.

And - if after this article you decide to prefer face-to-face contact, I invite you to join For the 10-class "Integration Course" face-to-face. It is a series of classes in a closed group for people who want to emotionally process in a safe and supportive environment altered states of consciousness and/or and/or intense spiritual experiences - states of consciousness gained through breathing and/or spiritual practices, hallucinogens, spontaneous experiences, etc. To apply, email info@idarto.com.

But if working in a group seems too challenging for now, I am also available for 1:1 sessions.

The illusion of interconnectedness

Humans are beings whose functioning is based on mutual attachment and who, for biological and psycho-emotional and social reasons, need to be connected to other people (human-to-human) (Flores, 2004). 

Being on social networks and participating in virtual working groups where members do not actually meet and get to know each other creates the illusion that this connection is being ensured. Yes, the content that is received in a virtual environment can be inspiring, motivating and useful in many ways. However, let's be honest, the contact between the content user and the content provider, and between group members, is in fact shallow and unlikely to be emotionally fulfilling (Bucans, 2019).

But it is this ineffable and intangible contact, this connection, that is one of the cornerstones of the dimension of spirituality. 

What ensures the existence of a link? 

By "connection" I mean both the human connection to oneself, to one's feelings, to one's inner world, to one's Soul (we can call it that), and the human capacity to be in true, deep contact with fellow human beings, and the capacity to be in contact with the spiritual dimension, meaning something higher, all inclusive, sacred and beyond words - God (we can call it that too). 

In my (subjective) opinion, these three forms of connection flow from each other, are inevitably linked, and cannot really be experienced in a disconnected, individual way.

The ability to form such a bond is provided by the attachment mentioned above (attachment). However, if we look around, many of the spiritual leaders of social networks are currently cultivating the opposite idea.

The misunderstanding of attachment in the understanding of spirituality

Western mainstream The world of spirituality is currently obsessed with the idea of letting go, letting go of all ties and becoming independent. Individualism is often seen as an expression of spirituality, but we seem to be stuck in a misunderstanding here (Bucans, 2019).

There are a number of authors, including spiritual teachers, who point out that non-attachment to spirituality (detachment), the idea is often misinterpreted.

In spirituality, non-attachment aims to create a deeper contact with oneself and the world, but today the word "non-attachment" is understood more as an element of distancing, which in fact creates isolation and undermines one's ability to be emotionally open, vulnerable and connected (Welwood, 2011).

Non-attachment as a mechanism for deeper bonding

Non-attachment, as a mechanism for deeper connection, means letting go of all that is superfluous, letting go of layers - both material and emotional. 

For example, we stop attaching ourselves to our public image, our profession, our association with working for a powerful brand - because none of that defines who we really are. We stop clinging to our psychological defence mechanisms, which shape our reactions in conflicts and help us to stay right, to feel superior. They also do not define who we really are.

When we stop clinging to everything that is superfluous in our lives, we inevitably become naked, vulnerable and vulnerable. We become ourselves - exposed like the palm of a hand. And in the process, the true nature of attachment is usually revealed. We realise that we are inevitably connected to our fellow human beings and to the rest of the world. We need our fellow human beings to feel inwardly fulfilled - connected. 

We realise that we are in some way dependent on each other in the most positive sense of the word. Yes, seeing and chilling this fact of dependence is extremely painful, painful and shatters all our Ego illusions. However, it is only through surrendering to this being-in-connection, this dependence, that spiritual fulfilment is possible. To feel our place in the Whole. To attach.

So, non-attachment to the superfluous does not cancel out the attachment relationship, or the connection to the world - it strengthens it. 

We are a network

Human development is inseparable from the environment, and the psyche naturally and continuously develops a relationship with the outside world, redefining its identity again and again. 

"The emergence and maintenance of psychological structure and self-awareness depends on the presence of an independent experiencing-sustaining-responding matrix (Wolf, 1988, 28)". Thus, the existence of consciousness (not only individual human consciousness, but also the consciousness of the whole) is only possible through experience, which inevitably connects us all in a network.

"This discovery overturns a currently cultivated illusion in the West, namely the illusory goal of independence, self-sufficiency, free autonomy (Wolf, 1988, 28)".

"We honour individualism instead of individualisation*." Ashley Compton

*Individuation - a process of psychic development leading to the realisation of unity and wholeness. 

If we look at the ideas of spirituality that are (supposedly) being cultivated on social networks, we can clearly see loud slogans about "create your own reality", "free yourself from the system's grip", "become the master of your own life", etc. 

As if they were valuable things, right? However, in the light of all the above, one can see that this has little to do with a healthy spirituality based on attachment or being in touch with oneself, the social and an all-inclusive force beyond words.

All these ideas are characterised by a fixation on individualism that actually deeply undermines people's ability to form healthy attachment relationships, which are at the heart of both mental health and spiritual development. This fixation on individualism develops not bonding but a fear of intimacy and a difficulty in expressing vulnerability. Yes, being an individual creates a sense of self-sufficiency and security - at the expense of detachment from others. At the expense of a lack of connection. At the expense of the very element that is at the heart of spirituality.

This is the view

We depend on each other - objectively. I'm sorry, but to imagine that an individual's reality can be unrelated to the world around them is simply absurd. It is the same as a neuron imagining that it alone determines all brain activity.

Yes, we each create our own reality. But so do nearly 8 billion other beings like us, every moment. Yes, each being can express itself individually, but at the end of the day, we all come together. And spiritual fulfillment only comes from being fully present in that connection.

The illusion of being connected created by virtual environments

Returning to the topic that was originally announced - why is it better to choose a face-to-face space for spirituality activities rather than a virtual space?

There is an interesting combination in the game of selling spirituality at the moment - spirituality is (supposedly) sold in an environment that gives an illusory sense of connectedness, which drives the buyer towards individualism, or something opposite to the bonding that defines the quality of spirituality. Plus, a negative addictive drug (spirituality) is sold in a negative addictive environment, in a negative addictive form.

All this combined creates conditions where the practice of spirituality is offered in virtual groups where everyone follows the same programme and follows the authoritarian steps of one teacher (which is another circumstance that is not indicative of moving in the direction of spiritual development); where the communication between the teacher and his disciples and the group members is at best in chats, where deep, attachment-based contact is impossible for objective reasons.

What is currently provided in the virtual environment is individual practice. Yes, of course, this process can contribute to one's inner growth, to becoming independent, and to the development of individuality. At the same time, however, it also encourages separation, distancing, being and remaining alone with one's individuality.

Yes, sometimes we think that these groups give us spiritual growth - being in a virtual space helps to maintain this illusion. However, I think the point of reference is: would a person who is able to emotionally open up to a group while hiding behind a virtual chat shield be able to do the same in the presence of a group? ...

Briefly and succinctly summarised

Unfortunately, spirituality is currently being sold on social networks in a form that distances people from spiritual experience rather than bringing them closer to it. 

Developing the basic element of spirituality - connection - involves being in genuine contact with others. That is why it is better to choose a face-to-face space for spirituality activities than a virtual space.

This free content is produced in my spare time without pay. If you see value in what I do, I'd be happy to make you a coffee! It's like a spur to create new content! 🙂

Sources:

Bucans, Y., K. (2019). Instagram, Addiction, and Spirituality: Remaining Human in a Social Media World. Pacifica Graduate Institute.

Flores, P. (2004). Addiction as an attachment disorder. Lanham, MD: Aronson. 

Welwood, J. (2011, Spring). On spiritual bypassing, relationship, and the dharma. Tricycle Magazine. 

Wolf, E. (1988). Treating the self. New York, NY: Guilford Press.