False spirituality and spiritual bypass: how to recognise it and how to get off it?

The dimension of spirituality has been present throughout human history and continues to be present in contemporary society. Its function is to give meaning to human existence by bringing to life a seemingly natural value system that underpins everything that happens in human life. 

In recent decades, spirituality has been validated in research as a measure of mental health and well-being (well-being), and also as an essential element in natural human growth and maturity (Picciotto et al., 2018).

Admittedly, this is something new for science: for a long time, research on the dimension of spirituality has been rejected and even partly excluded because spirituality was opposed to science, including the science of psychology. However, the situation is now changing. Around the mid-1990s, research on the dimension of spirituality began to increase rapidly in scientific journals, which, according to the American personality psychologist Ralph Piedmont (Ralph Piedmont), a "flood of books" was hung and "the enthusiasm for this field of research has continued unabated" to this day. "The genie seems to have burst out of the bottle and is never coming back in. Despite its shortcomings and limitations, the sheer volume and consistency of the discoveries seem to have changed the way science looks at questions of spirituality (Piedmont & Wilkins, 2019, 6)".

If we observe the surge of spirituality thinking that the Latvian cultural space is currently experiencing, then I think it is quite clear that the "genie is out of the bottle" has hit us too. 

However, on all this in the reasoned Some quite common downsides of spirituality are often overlooked in the wave of spirituality's positive influence (Welwood, 2000; Picciotto et al., 2018). One of these I have already discussed in my article on spiritual narcissism. This article is devoted to another important aspect - false spirituality or spiritual bypass (spiritual bypass).

What is false spirituality or spiritual bypass (spiritual bypass)?

Deadline spiritual bypasss has been around since 1984, first introduced by the American clinical psychologist and psychotherapist John Wellwood (John Welwood). It denotes the adoption of a defensive psychological posture, or the tendency to privilege and exaggerate spiritual beliefs, emotions and experiences - to make them take precedence over psychological needs, thus avoiding the experience of difficult situations, emotions and experiences (Picciotto et al., 2018).

To paraphrase it in simple terms, people use spiritual practices and give exaggerated importance to spirituality (and everything they experience as a result) in order to avoid dealing with their real inner problems. In essence, by using spiritual practices, one suppresses one's true needs and also one's identity (Ego).

Spiritual detour walkers often read books on spirituality, engage in spiritual practices, follow spiritual teachers and gurus, attend spiritual retreats and are part of spiritual communities. However, they care little for themselves and their immediate psychological needs, while believing that their spiritual work will one day free them from psychological suffering. In fact, by ignoring these natural psychological needs, these people risk stagnation of emotional development and even greater psychological suffering in the future (Welwood, 2000).

With examples from life

Once again, false spirituality is a way of escaping from reality. We are on the spiritual bypass when we use spiritual practices and spiritual thinking as a refuge to avoid or escape unresolved problems in our immediate reality. 

For example:

• I had an argument with my husband and it made me angry; I went to take a leak and calmed down;
• my girlfriend criticised me, I cut her out of my life and decided that the Universe knows better what I need;
• I suffer emotionally, but I know that this suffering is necessary for me to learn something - it is God's way of teaching me life lessons, and I know that one day he will free me from this suffering.

What are the main symptoms of a false spirituality jab spiritual bypass?

The symptomatology of mental bypass has been recorded in his clinical practice by the integrative psychotherapist Robert Augustus Masters (Robert Augustus Masters). False spirituality includes:

• suppressing and repressing emotions
• emotional distancing from events;
• the inability or prohibition to feel negative emotions, especially anger (which is considered an inappropriate emotion for a mentally developed person);
• over-involvement, reticence;
• over-emphasising the positive;
• a lack of a sense of psychological boundaries;
• blind sympathy or excessive tolerance;
• an over-rationalised view of the world (rationalisation as a defence mechanism of the psyche, whereby events are explained "in the head", creating "justifying facts" that make people feel safer. Cases where, when faced with a difficult situation, the person comes up with a reason why it happened. For example, "it was God's will");
• minimising or denying the shadow side of your personality;
• overconfidence in your own state of mental well-being;
• the idea that everything is an illusion, including suffering;
• ignoring the personal and mundane.

Mental bypass as a function of the psyche

Although all of the above sounds less than flattering, especially to someone who recognises himself as standing on a spiritual bypass, I would like to remind you that the psyche is an extremely clever mechanism that does not create characteristics by itself - everything that lives within us (both positive and negative) has a function, a role and a meaning. Also the mental bypass. 

Yes, false spirituality has mostly negative consequences in the illegitimate world, but sometimes getting on the spiritual bypass is a natural part of spiritual growth (Picciotto et al., 2018). How so? Because there are times when standing on the spiritual bypass serves the health of our psyche.

For example, there can be extremely strong shocks in a person's life that hang up painful emotional experiences (including past events that are suddenly stirred up). The psyche is not always able to process these experiences immediately, so it creates defences that prevent the conscious mind from accessing these painful experiences. It is theorised that one of these mechanisms is to climb onto the mental bypass - with the aim of reducing the impact of the emotional pain.

In a state of false spirituality, one most often unconsciously avoids working out a painful experience - in order to react, to "get it out of one's system", to transform it, to process it, one has to experience it. But to face one's inner pain (or other negative emotions), one needs a certain accumulation of psychological resources and stability. In the absence of this inner resource, a false mental state can serve as an intermediate step to build up this inner resource. ...and after a while return to a more direct contact with the existing reality and its confrontations. ...and work through the painful experience, and, as a result, perhaps step onto the spiritual path in a different quality.

Long-term consequences of the Mental Bypass

If a person stays in a state of mental bypass for too long, this can have negative consequences for his psychological functioning. For example:

• the need to over-control yourself and others
• a sense of shame;
• a sense of being left out;
• anxiety and depression
• loss of a sense of meaning in life;
• apathy and emotional numbness;
• contradictory thinking;
• emotional confusion;
• emotional tension (caused by repressed emotions)
• losing love for yourself;
• fear of drawing personal boundaries and conflict;
• loss of contact with the body;
• Avoiding people who think differently, especially those who do not share your spiritual beliefs;
• fear of confrontation;
• avoiding upsetting events;
• unrealistic relationships;
• over-tolerance of unacceptable behaviour (tolerance of the war in Ukraine is a current example);
• codependency (e.g. from a spiritual leader);
• blind faith in spiritual leaders;
• obsessions and/or addictions;
• compulsive kindness;
• spiritual narcissism;
• a tendency not to take responsibility for personal life processes.

How to get off the spiritual bypass?

Qualitative research to date has shown that a large proportion of people only begin to come back to reality when they learn about, educate themselves about and recognise the concept of spiritual bypass. 

A person's own emotions are also a good signal. For example, realising and admitting to oneself "I feel anger / hatred / shame / desire for revenge..." - which usually contradicts the spiritual beliefs that one holds in such high esteem.

Sometimes one begins to hear feedback from people, or comes into direct conflict with fellow human beings, which makes one question one's own beliefs and behaviour, and develop an awareness of one's place on the spiritual bypass.

Professional help is very helpful in getting off the mental detour - talking to a psychologist or psychotherapist who can help you get back to hearing yourself and developing psychological stability. Processional help can also be provided by spiritual teachers who are trained in human psychological development and functioning (Picciotto et al., 2018).

How is one's spiritual life shaped after leaving the spiritual bypass?

Those who have successfully emerged from the spiritual bypass most often continue with spiritual practices, but these are combined with psychological processes (self-help practices, therapy, listening to oneself, taking care of one's current psychological needs, etc.). 

Similarly, people often begin to develop their own model of spirituality (as opposed to following a particular belief system), combining it from different faiths and ways of practising. 

Further, it becomes inherent in a person to practice spirituality in a way that does not interfere with engaging with others, including people who think differently, and living in the real world - as it is (Picciotto et al., 2018).

Ps. If we recognise ourselves or someone close to us who is in a state of spiritual bypass, we should remember that no human being is likely to do this consciously. So please, in our daily interactions, treat each other with respect, understanding and empathy.

This free content is produced in my spare time without pay. If you see value in what I do, I'd be happy to make you a coffee! It's like a spur to create new content! 🙂

Sources:

Picciotto, G., Fox, J. & Neto, F. (2018). A phenomenology of spiritual bypass: Causes, consequences, and implications. Journal of spirituality in mental health, 20 (4), 333-354.

Piedmont, R.L., &Wilkins, T.A. (2019). Understanding the Psychological Soul of Spirituality. Routledge. 

Masters, R. A. (2010). Spiritual bypassing: When spirituality disconnects us from what really matters. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.

Welwood, J. (2000). Toward a psychology of awakening: Buddhism, psychotherapy, and the path of personal and spiritual transformation. Boston, MA: Shambhala.